Confidence is King
What is it that affects self-confidence and is it a constant or is it that in some situations you are very confident, for example spending time with good friends and family. What is it about other situations that prevents you from relaxing and just being ‘yourself’. Is that about perceived expectation (theirs and yours), perfectionism, etc. Here are some factors that play a part:
- Circumstances / situation
- Social / Professional / anything else
- How you run your day
- Taking care of yourself
- The self-talk that you’ve grown to believe through what others have said
- Past experiences
What is your back story and how comfortable are you with it …
If there’s one thing I learned from following Russell Brand’s career (the British comedian) – its that when we reach a place where we are okay with ourselves and willing to discuss any aspect of our past, usually because it no longer plagues us, then we are free to be ourselves wherever we are. And this is what his act is based on and he does it magnificently. Brand has a propensity to get himself into scrapes by ‘putting his foot in it’, because he often speaks before thinking, but simultaneously there’s something quite charming about that, because its spontaneous and less contrived.
Interview with Frank Skinner for Channel 4
In his interview with Frank Skinner (another comedian who likes to push the boundaries) on Channel 4 last month – there’s a clip at http://bit.ly/4lXlsR but beware if you’re squeamish about toilet humour. What I really like about Brand is his intelligence, self-awareness, sensitivity to others, use of language and confidence, which can’t fail to make anyone attractive.
His road to fame is fascinating and you can read his autobiography My Booky Wook to get the full and compelling story. A friend bought the book as a Christmas present a couple of years ago (when it was released). She had a strong dislike for him – but guess what she was reading last summer.
His stage act shows him being ‘right out there’ in what for many would be a very vulnerable place, but he takes ownership for his past misdemeanors and as stated in his interview that character is like an alter-ego that he can bring out of the cupboard and examine – but of course it reassuring for the audience as not many have been as far ‘off-the-tracks’ as ‘ole Rusty’. So he makes it easy for them to support and empathise with him.
And there we are Brand does self-therapy and self-healing right there in full view of hundreds as part of his stand-up act … And whatever you think of Brand (he gets a bad press for all sorts, his sex addiction which can be over-played). What he does really well is set a fine example by being open and having a healthy lifestyle – he practices yoga and meditation (two personal favourites).
Scrubs up well 🙂
He lives a life of sobriety, clean from drugs and alcohol with a healthy ambition for success. He understands people very well which sometimes backfires as demonstrated during the full programme where there was a glimpse of civil unrest among his male posse when they went all Kevin and Perry at one point. I recommend you view the entire interview which can be found to view-again at 4-OD … As you can tell he’s a bit of a hero for me for all the above reasons. Here’s a task you can try out next time you have an event that you want to grow into your full height of Self Confidence for:
Here’s a Self Confidence task
1. When you know you have a situation coming up that usually gets the better of you, makes your tummy queasy, has you obsessing over how it might go wrong, etc.
2. Think about the confidence of your favourite stand-up comedian (actor, singer, anyone in the public eye), someone you admire at any rate – it needn’t be a well-known person – but not knowing them personally can help.
3. Start to mirror them … what qualities do they project that you really admire – get into their character – try it on like an outfit of clothing.
4. What does it feel, look and sound like?
5. Try that every day in preparation until you start to look forward to the event.
6. The brain really can’t tell the difference between a real or imagined feeling – so the more you practice it the quicker it will become a reality for you. Let me know how you go with it and good luck.
Tell me more
If you’d like to learn more you’re welcome to an ‘introductory chat’ – see how to kick-start the process – all sessions are ‘private and confidential.
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